To love or not to love

Love is a choice

Love is not something you fall into. It is not an accident. It's not that heart pounding feeling of twitterpation you get when the object of your desire walks into the room. It's not the inability to think about anything other than the person of your desire. It's not the feeling of passion, or sexual arousal or the need to be with, or even the feeling of comfort and security that you get when you are with that person.

Love is more than that...

If not, than what happens when all that emotional newness wears off? If all you had was excitement, passion and desire, what happens when you aren't feeling, pretty, sexy, passionate? What happens on the days when you look and feel your worst? When you don't feel like combing your hair and you want to stay in your pajamas all day?

Love is not a knight in shining armor sweeping us off our feet. Love is not always a happy ending. Love is not always pretty. It's not always kind, sweet, or even happy. Sometimes it can even be downright painful. and yet... you have a choice...

...to love or not to love.

Love is a choice. When the butterfly's in your heart settle down. When the flowers stop coming so frequently. When the romance actually takes work. When the routines of life settle in, and the kids, the bills, the job all begin to take precedence over romance... You have a choice...

...to love or not to love.

If you choose, you can have the kind of love that lasts a lifetime. But you can be assured that it's not always going to be easy. It is going to take some work. There will be problems, like lack of passion, fatigue, extended family, etc There will be dissagreements. There will be hardships. There will be times when you actually hate that person. And yet, you have a choice...

...to love or not to love.

It is something that takes work. Love is not a feeling, it is an action word. It is not something that you wait around and hope happens to you. It's something that you DO. You decide what to wear to work, you decide to wash your car, you decide to love that person, even when you don't feel like it. When he doesn't ignite your fire. When he sits on the couch all day watching football while you clean and cook for his family to come visit. When he's not what you thought you were bargaining for... you have a choice...

...to love or not to love.

And after all of that, you may be wondering, why would I want to?

Because when you do the rewards are soooo goooood! When love is deeper than the passionate infatuations that movies and books seem to over emphasize, it is so much better! It's better than the best friendship you ever had. The memories that you create are a mere drop in the proverbial bucket of the rewards of a long term, true and godly love....

A love that is patient, a love that is kind. A love that doesn't envy, boast, or isn't proud. A love that honors the other and isn't selfish. A love that holds no grudges or anger toward the other. A love that delights not on evil, but on truth. A love that protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. (1 Cor 13:4-8). This kind of love ensures long, joyful, rewarding relationships. This is godly love.

In generations past, when marriages were arranged. Many women weren't given the option of who to love. Yet... They had a choice...

...to love or not to love.

Many chose to love, and went on to have long happy marriages. We have the same choice today. Our circumstances may not be what we always planned. Our lives may have turned out totally opposite than our expectations. And (barring abuse) we have the privilege to decide to stay or leave, to forgive or hold a grudge...

...to love or not to love.

37 years ago, I chose to love....and I choose every day.

 And I've never regretted it.

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